70000 Tons Of Metal Adds Vio-Lence, Ross The Boss, Seven Witches, Toxik, Aeternam and Brujeria

House of Blues, Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino, Las Vegas, NV 8/18/19

The 70000 Tons Of Metal is right around the corner, kicking off next week, and have confirmed some late additions to the cruise. Setting sail with the current bands on the bill and the fans are Vio-Lence, Ross The Boss, Seven Witches, Toxik, Aeternam and Brujeria. Round X (10) of 70000 Tons Of Metal will sail January 7 to January 11, 2020. Continue reading

Rockharz Festival 25 Is Totally Sold Out!

This year’s Rockharz Open Air is sold-out, faster than ever before. As preparations begin to host the 25th edition of the festival, it will take place from July 4th to July 7th, 2018 in Ballenstedt.  The fest is headlined by In Flames, Powerwolf, Kreator, Hammerfall, Eisbrecher, Paradise Lost, Amorphis, Knorkator, Schandmaul, Cannibal Corpse, Alestorm, Ensiferum, Exodus, Sodom, Equilibrium, Die Apokalyptischen Reiter, Finntroll, Battle Beast, Amaranthe, Bannkreis, Gloryhammer and many more. You can see the final poster below. Continue reading

Rockharz Open Air Adds Six More Bands, Tickets On Sale Now

Rockharz Open Air is celebrating 25 years as a festival in 2018. This year’s fest is already loaded with talent and grows all the time, now with six new bands. Joining the lineup headlined by In Flames, Powerwolf, Kreator, and Hammerfall are Bannkreis, Versengold, Winterstorm, Oni, Blind Channel, Manntra with special guest, Michael Rhein (In Extremo). The fest takes place from July 4th to July 7th 2018 in Ballenstedt, Germany. Tickets are on sale now and a sellout is expected. Continue reading

Rockharz Festival Adds Powerwolf, Cannibal Corpse And Sodom To Complete 2018 Line-Up

Rockharz Festival, celebrating 25 years in 2018, has completed their incredible line-up with the addition of Powerwolf, Cannibal Corpse, and Sodom. Tickets are on sale now and Ghost Cult has the full details. Continue reading

Alestorm, Primal Fear, Ahab And More Added to Rockharz Festival

The 25th Anniversary edition of the Rockharz Festival has added Alestorm, Primal Fear, Ahab, Erdling, Letzte Instanz and Nothgard to the 2018 event. Rockharz takes place next July 4th to July 7th 2018 In Ballenstedt, Germany.

The full lineup for Rockharz 2018 so far includes: Continue reading

Behemoth, Arch Enemy, Finntroll, Blaze Bailey, Destruction Booked for Heavy Scotland

The heaviest metal festival in the history of Scotland is right around the corner as Heavy Scotland is set to kick off April 1st and 2nd at the Corn Exchange in Edinburgh. Behemoth is headlining in a UK Exclusive performance, along with Arch Enemy, Finntroll, Blaze Bailey, Destruction, Havok, Fleshgod Apocalypse, Grave, Warbringer and more! Continue reading

ORCumentary – Destroy The Dwarves

orcumentary-destroy-the-dwarves

If there’s a question more thorny in the world of Metal than the purpose of live albums, it is surely, what is the point of comedy bands? The line can sometimes be hard to draw in a genre where even our revered classics border on self-parody, but there is a palpable difference between the essential silliness of the style and a band built around a joke, and there’s something hard-to-swallow – something almost “un-Metal”, as elitist as that might sound – about the latter.

The first thing you notice about ORCumentary is the guitar sound – it sounds like a collection of roughed-up, distorted midi-files strung together into riffs. Then you realise that that’s exactly what it is. Destroy The Dwarves (Orc Rock) is entirely the work of sole-member Orc Adams, who has created all of the music on his keyboards and added vocals over the top. Once you realise what’s going on it’s actually quite impressive, and sounds better than you might expect – honestly, I’ve heard Black Metal bands that sound less like real guitars – but once the shock of the unusual has worn off the music has to be judged alongside other folk-tinged Black Metal, and, even in the frequently shoddy genre, it doesn’t do well. There are some effectively catchy riffs, and the keyboard melodies are often as sharp as you’d expect from a keyboardist’s band, but its assembled crudely and often hangs together unconvincingly, riffs mashing into parpy sections with little real sense of why. The closest comparison is probably someone like Nekrogoblikon or old Finntroll, but ORCumentary are firmly the bargain-basement version.

It might be easier to overlook some of Orcumentary’s musical shortcomings if they were actually funny, but once again their efforts in this direction miss the mark. Humour is, of course, a very subjective thing, and I’m sure there’ll be people laughing out loud at Destroy The Dwarves’ squeaky dwarf voices and chants of “You! Must! Procreate!”, but they left me cold. It also doesn’t help that this is clearly played for laughs; front-loading the humour and practically screaming “this is funny!” after every song – compare with the recent album by Gloryhammer, which delivers lines of total over-the-top silliness with an utterly straight face, and succeeds in being considerably funnier as a result. Destroy The Dwarves in comparison feels more like a drunk student joke, and not a great one.

It’s difficult to seriously criticise Destroy The Dwarves, for the simple reason that all of its flaws are so clearly deliberate, and it can’t be denied that putting together an album of this nature by yourself with nothing but midi-synths IS impressive, but when held up alongside other albums it’s just not enough. Shit on purpose is still shit, and a smart trick is worth less than a regular band if it can’t deliver the goods. Perhaps worth listening to once just for the novelty, but I’d honestly be surprised if many people even finished the album, let alone came back for more.

 

3.0/10

 

RICHIE HR