Coathanger Abortion, really? That’s a song title Cannibal Corpse would reject for being too stupid, but the five members of said outfit evidently felt it was just the kind of moniker to gain precious brutal scene points. Now if this was just a few kids eager to offend it would be understandable but these chumps have been around for fifteen years! What’s even more shocking is in that time they appear to have barely mastered their instruments, let alone learnt how to pen a half-decent death metal song, for sophomore release Observations of Humanity (Comatose) is one of the worst albums ever recorded.

Inexpertly combining the aggression and violent approach of Cannibal Corpse with the technicality and chunky riffs of Suffocation, yet with absolutely none of the ingenuity, skill and flair those two acts have exhibited for so long, Coathanger Abortion drag the listener through a tortuous fifty-three minute riff-salad of stolen ideas and clumsy execution that’ll have you wondering how something so utterly horrendous could ever be released by a label that wants to be taken seriously. The clear production only serves to highlight how inept proceedings are, with every out-of-time chord-change, sloppy piece of drumming or out of tune bass note standing out like naughty schoolchildren. Most contempt however is reserved for the appalling guttural vocals that sound like a parody of the Cookie Monster.

Many album reviews include hyperbolic statements along the lines of; “this record will give you bruises!” Observations of Humanity is no exception; however the bruises will be on your visage as a result of repeated facepalms, or from pulling a muscle as you frantically reach for the stop button. This is a record that makes the latest offering from Six Feet Under appear an enticing and cerebral prospect.

Hands down, the worst album to be released this year.

 

2.0/10

Coathanger Abortion on Facebook

JAMES CONWAY